Confession - Sunday, November 21

A little over a week ago I sat down and asked God to help me come up with all the things that I have done wrong in this whole situation with my mom. This entire time all I could focus on is all the things I thought she had done to wrong me but never bothered to look at myself for the same thing. So I sat down and started writing, and before I knew it I had filled the page. I didn't expect to come up with that much but it has greatly helped me in trying to put this thing in perspective and made me realize how stupid I was being.

I...

• avoided her when she tried to come over.
• didn't come to the door when she came over.
• screened my calls and didn't pick up for her.
• accepted her house warming gift without thanking her.
• pretended I was not at fault.
• held a grudge instead of forgiving her.
• talked bad about her to others.
• insisted on HER apologizing to ME.
• lied to myself about forgiving her.
• thought I was better than her.
• forced my opinion of her on others.
• tried to turn my family against her.
• constantly defended my position on the situation.
• made it known I didn't like her.
• refused to let her into my home.
• forced my family to not let her see the house.
• ignored her attempts to right the relationship.
• ignorantly insisted I was right.
• thought I had a right to be mad at her.
• failed to see my immaturity.
• was selfish and prideful.

So there it is. Completely unchanged and raw, right off the page. Not much else to say but, I'm sorry.